Carl Lewis doesn’t like all this Usain Bolt hysteria. He says we shouldn’t get too excited, cause the dude might be juicing. Oh, yeah? Usain has some words for you, fool! See them after the jump.

Welcome to our eighth installment of Top 5 Dead Or Alive. In case you missed our piece last Friday on fictional athletes, we want you to know that this feature is designed specifically to make life hell for our employees. Each week, we’ll ask one of our writers to come up with a definitive list of the five best people, places or things in a particularly subjective category — then, we’ll ask you to tell him who or what is missing from the list. Feel free to be a total dick. After the jump, this week’s category: the five best Olympic athletes of all time.

Nine-time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis wants to become a New Jersey state senator, but so far he’s having an rough go of it. Just two weeks after he announced his intention to run, he was ruled ineligible because he didn’t meet the state residency requirement. He’s still running, though, and may now have help (if for no other reason than gaining sympathy points) from a highly unlikely source: a racist e-mail sent to his campaign.