Watch him rip it from 30 yards out!!!!

Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me, then call the FBI to check this guy’s basement for missing people. Both infractions after the jump.

When you picture a ball boy, you probably imagine an aw-shucks-wowie-golly-gee-thanks-mister kind of kid, slowly dying of some disease, marveling at the unlikely chance to be near his heros, one…last…time. Apparently, this is not always the case – because Charlie Morgan, the ball boy who was on the receiving end of Eden Hazard’s kick, actually sucks. A lot.

A few moments ago, Deadspin posted a video of Chelsea’s Eden Hazard kicking a ball boy in a Cup match against Swansea. After the ball rolled over the end line, the Swansea ball boy rolls over the ball in what is presumably a time-wasting maneuver. Hazard then kicks him, and Chelsea’s Twitter cannot believe he was red carded. Video, after the jump.

Chelsea captain John Terry, who called Anton Ferdinand a rather derisive term earlier this year, was on trial with the English Football Association concerning his racist comments. A decision was reached that his defense regarding the statement was “implausible, improbable and contrived,” and he was handed a four-match ban and a £220,000 fine.

John Terry was found not guilty for racial abuse, despite admitting to saying the words “black c—” to Anton Ferdinand during a close 2011 match. Find out why after the jump.

English soccer star John Terry is on trial for calling an opponent a “fucking black cunt.” The details (and context), after the jump.

Brazilian defender David Luiz gave this fantastic interview to Italian network Mediaset following Chelsea’s big win this weekend. The interview isn’t in English, but it doesn’t matter: Luiz is speaking the international language of “I Just Won The Champion’s League, And I Can’t Feel My Face.” [Bob's Blitz]

Chelsea are your European champions, thanks to — who else? — Didier Drogba. After extra time refused to yield a winner, the Champions League final between Chelsea and Bayern Munich went to penalty kicks. Video, after the jump.

It didn’t look good for Chelsea, but in the 88th minute Didier Drogba put a wonderful header into the back of the net that tied today’s Champions League final with Bayern Munich, an event that caused an instant announcer combustion.