Trust us: we’re just like you. When we heard from the New York Post the area surrounding Citi Field was being overrun with dogs, of course we pictured this. Or maybe this. It made us want to go to Citi Field ourselves to experience this puppy kingdom for ourselves. Alas, this was only what we imagined, and the actual situation is not quite like that.

By my count, that’s 44 seconds of evasion, not counting the period of time this guy was running around before this video started recording. Memo to ballpark security teams everywhere: employ at least one very fast, hyper-athletic man whose sole purpose is to seek and destroy anyone who dares step onto the field. If they decide to bumrush? They’re crushed. This would not only lower the amount of game interruptions, but on those rare occasions when someone is drunk/emboldened enough to make a run for it, it would up the drama significantly.

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This was probably not the best way to draw attention to a cause. Two fans ran onto Citi Field last night during the Arizona Diamondbacks’ 9-6 win over the Mets to protest Arizona’s controversial immigration law.

Since the All-Star break, the Mets have been truly awful, posting a 3-10 record and scoring 2.8 runs per game. Clearly, one ESPN host has taken note of this.