Listen, we don’t know for sure whether or not Carmelo Anthony’s wife LaLa Vasquez tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios. We do know, however, that you don’t say that kind of thing to another dude about his wife. Because he will seek you out — on the court, in the hallway, outside the locker room and near the bus. And then he will be suspended for it.

Friday night featured a full slate of relatively boring NBA action and not much else, but a couple of big stories emerged among the clutter of Indiana at Sacramento, Phoenix at Toronto, and so forth. In a week where we had two winners of the $550 million Powerball jackpot, two more people were able to cash in for no good reason in a big way.

Gregg Popovich, coaching mastermind that he is, went over his schedule at the beginning of the season and determined games in which he would bench some of his aging stars.

Stan Van Gundy’s handshake deal with ESPN has fallen through, and now there are whispers that NBA commissioner David Stern played a part in killing the deal. Van Gundy is pissed, and made some very interesting comments about the Worldwide Leader in Sports. Those comments, after the jump.

What do you get when you lead a poorly-organized NBA Players Association union strike directly responsible for a quarter of the regular season to be cancelled? Apparently, a $600,000 raise.

David Stern recently suggested that 23 should be the age limit for Olympic basketball participants. Kobe Bryant, NBA superstar and resident team old guy, didn’t take kindly to that suggestion.

From the fine folks at SB Nation comes this stupendous 8-bit re-imagining of the NBA Draft. And there’s even an upset at #1! Expect a seething 1988 Michael Jordan to put up 5,000 shots tonight while muttering “Bowser…Bowser” under this breath. [SB Nation on YouTube]

NBA players have a habit of missing non-Olympic international tournaments, and there’s a reason: money. Now, David Stern and FIBA are working towards creating a new super-tournament, so everyone will get what they want.

David Stern doesn’t care what you think. You knew this, but it’s never been more clear than it has in the last week or so. First there was the Jim Rome fiasco, and last night, while he didn’t say as much to rock the boat, he still got some shots in.