Wait, so Derek Jeter ISN’T having a sex change? He’s NOT missing the remainder of the season? The Yankees’ Facebook page was just hacked? Oh. Had us going for a second there.

Who is this mysterious woman who has tickled the elusive fancy of one Derek Jeter? SPOILER: You’ll like her and one of her hobbies. She’s a keeper. More after the jump.

Logan Morrison ran into Derek Jeter in a Kansas City hotel, and Derek Jeter had no clue who the heck he was. Video after the jump.

Welcome to our fourth installment of “Top 5 Dead Or Alive.” In case you missed our piece last Friday on crazy crowd traditions, we want you to know that this feature is designed specifically to make life hell for our employees. Each week, we’ll ask one of our writers to come up with a definitive list of the five best people, places or things in a particularly subjective category — then, we’ll ask you to tell him who or what is missing from the list. Feel free to be a total dick.

On June 1st, 1992, the New York Yankees drafted a wiry shortstop from Michigan. Twenty years later, he’s still around — and has accomplished quite a bit.

In the midst of El Capitán’s 1-4 day on Sunday, he took time to roll his pink Mother’s Day bat to a lucky young fan. And, wait… yep: sources confirm it was the cutest thing ever.

In photos that first appeared on Business Insider last year, and were then revisited again today in the New York Post, we get a glimpse inside El Capitan’s back-on-the-market hunting lodge. And what a hunting lodge it is.

There have been some shenanigans off the field today at Fenway as the Red Sox celebrate the 100th anniversary of their historic park, but on it, the Yankees have a 4-1 lead. Oh, and Derek Jeter made a bit of history, after he singled to third for his 3,111th hit. El Capitan passes Dave Winfield for 18th on the all-time hits list.

El Capitán will soon have another accolade. The Times Union is reporting that the Yankees shortstop will receive an honorary degree from Siena College for his charitable works with his Take 2 foundation.

Derek Jeter’s leadoff home run against the Orioles was the 25th of his career, and it broke a tie with Rickey Henderson for the all-time Yankee mark. Records, however, are meaningless to El Capitán — all that matters is whether he and his Yankee cohorts can leave the ballpark in proud victory. Luckily, they did: the Yankees would beat Baltimore, 5-4.