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Watching them play shuffleboard for weeks on end, always to a draw, would be the most entertaining reality TV show of all time.
Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our definitive guide to the upcoming NFL season. This team-by-team preview details why your favorite franchise might have to start looking forward to next year — and highlights at least one reason for you to be hopeful. Today: Let’s talk about how screwed the Giants are, so they can go 4-12 and still win the Super Bowl somehow.
Some things are just impervious to parody.
I may never stop watching this. Ever. Full video following the jump.
“Giants, Romo Agree To Two-Year, $9 Million Contract” Says Unintentionally Confusing Headline Everywhere
New York Giants rookie running back did just about everything in his team’s 52-27 drubbing of the Saints on Sunday. Those 327 all-purpose yards (becoming the first player to ever notch 200-plus return yards and 100-plus rushing yards in one game) and three touchdowns speak for themselves. But perhaps the biggest imprint he left on the American football-watching public was his touchdown celebration: an impressive, yet questionably safe standing back flip. And now Justin Tuck is pissed.
New York Scribes Are Freaking Out Over Eli Manning And The New York Giants, Write The Same, Worthless Column
The Cincinnati Bengals walked all over the New York Giants on Sunday, easily coasting to a 31-13 win with stellar defensive line play and an efficient 21-30 for 199 yards and 4 TDs from QB Andy Dalton. It’s New York’s second consecutive loss. Still, the team is 6-4 and leading the NFC East, so they can’t be playing that poorly, right?
Note: this is a special edition of Pretty Much Screwed, our team-by-team NBA preview. Today, SportsGrid senior editor Glenn Davis tells his inspiring tale of Hurricane Sandy survival.
Eli Manning hitting Victor Cruz for a Giants’ first down is a familiar proceeding in Giants land, but so is Troy Aikman’s effusive praise of Cruz as the NFL’s best slot receiver. Both of these moments came together on Sunday when a Manning-to-Cruz third down conversion was broken down in slow motion by Aikman – except the replay revealed one extra and crucial nugget of information about Eli in particular.