Didn’t watch sports last night? We hope your fancy schmancy dinner with “friends” was lovely. Here’s what you missed:

It appears so, at least. Last night the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Brooklyn Nets 95-90, and in the middle of the game Kobe Bryant and Gerald Wallace (at least according to the YouTube uploader) got in a bit of a bro-off. An expensive bro-off. Wallace, who was presumably taunting Kobe, stirred him up enough to get him to open up his wallet and bet $5,000 on an upcoming free throw. The lip reading translation, after the jump.

Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our 2012-13 guide to the upcoming NBA season, in which we identify the reasons why your favorite team might have to start looking forward to 2013-2014 — and highlight at least one reason for you to be hopeful. Today: the Brooklyn Nets, the Jay-Z and Mikhail Prokhorov-owned Brooklyn upstarts that cost more than the entirety of Brooklyn’s DIY craft breweries.

The day after the NBA trade deadline, a popular feature on SportsCenter is a “Winners & Losers” segment, in which ESPN’s NBA analysts will tell you which teams made the right moves and which teams made the wrong ones on one of the regular season’s most important days. Well, we’d like to bring you a “Winners & Losers” with a different NBA analyst: a 7-year-old girl.

It was not an especially fun “Welcome to the Clippers!” present that the Blazers’ Gerald Wallace gave recently-acquired L.A. forward Caron Butler last night.