Normally, I’m not a big believer in superstition, but last week I wrote my shortest intro of the year and, in turn, I was rewarded by the Gods with my most successful week of picks in 2013. So, I’m testing out this limited word count = Big Fantasy points theory again.

Nicolas Colsaerts hit a tee shot that flew out of bounds on the 10th hole of the Volvo World Match Play Championship this weekend. Because golf is weird, the “point of relief” was determined to be inside a bathroom. Puns and giggles ensued for almost four straight minutes.

Somebody needs to set this to a Ke$ha song, or something.

Take this guy, please. No idea what kind of job he has, but based on his pants and the plastic keycard-looking thing attached to his belt, it probably doesn’t involve putting. Yet he can (ostensibly) still find ways to do his work while getting the rush of sinking a big shot.

Tiger Woods: bad person. Tiger Woods: not a bad person. The debate rages on.

If someone asks you if you’re a God, you say “yes”. Also, if you swing at a golf ball and miss, say it was a really hard practice swing.

Much to the chagrin of Tony Romo’s golf fanbase, the sometime-Cowboys quarterback is reportedly “cutting back” on his golf tournament appearances to focus on his other hobby: Being the very, very highly paid leader of “America’s Team.”

One way to spice up the Zurich Classic: Have a bunch of alligators turn up and walk around the golf course. One of these visitors was missing a leg. It’s like something out of a sci-fi movie, except no one seemed particularly worried about it.

Plowing through an ultra thin field, Pat Mayo (@ThePME) breaks down the competition at the Zurich Classic of New Orleans and delivers his picks to fill out your roster.

Is there anything worse than the post-Masters hangover? It’s intense. It throbs for weeks and even a supersized Gatorade, pound of bacon and some greasy home fries can’t exorcise it.