Oh, and he hit a home run with a wooden bat in batting practice. GIFgasm, after the jump.

This is probably the dumbest column of all time. We’re pretty sure it’s not an April Fools’ column. We hope it’s an April Fools’ column.

Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M’s sparky sparkplug of a quarterback, won the Heisman Trophy on Saturday night thanks to his ridiculous create-a-player stat line (3,419 yards passing, 1,181 yards rushing, and 43 total touchdowns) and a signature win against a team that very well could win the national championship. He is also dating an attractive girl.

I get what you’re going for, guy. You want the world to know that you support Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, and his quest for the Heisman trophy. But really, all you’re communicating to everyone around you is: “I would not like to talk to anyone of the opposite sex for awhile. Just gonna take a break from all that.”

Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, AKA Johnny Football to the Aggie faithful, is a fan favorite for his wild style of play, gunslinger attitude, and extreme confidence on the field. All were on display today against Alabama, specifically on this touchdown pass.