Breaking: Jets have non-quarterbacks on their roster. Not Breaking: LOLJETS.

Go home, ump. You’re drunk. No, really.

The world’s luckiest murderer is back at it again.

Intimidating a police officer is a bad idea, we’re told.

Details, after the jump.

This lawsuit is totally going to win, you guys.

Remember the guy who pulled a gun on Gilbert Arenas in the Wizards locker room a while ago? He just turned himself in for murder.

On Wednesday night, Chris Bosh’s house was robbed. Well, burglarized, technically, because he wasn’t there. $340,000 worth of watches, purses and rings were taken, which just sucks. Also, it is possible to spend $340,000 on watches, purses and rings.

There’s a book out about Lenny Dykstra, and its contents suggest that he may in fact be the worst human being on the entire planet. He also appears to have a fascination with feces. Strangely, he’s not alone among ex-athletes.

The Joe Paterno-Jerry Sandusky story isn’t going away. John Ziegler, controversial filmmaker/Sarah Palin lover is making a documentary called Framing Joe Paterno. He was interviewed by Matt Lauer on Today. There’s creepy Sandusky audio.