You know what professional athletes do? You know, besides play professional sports? They have sex with people. Lots of people.

Blue Jays? Happy. Marlins? Not so happy. Read on and be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. Now, on to our morning words of wisdom.

Thanks to a postponed ALCS and an otherwise slow night in sports, I can’t promise any thematic consistency to our tweets this morning. But they are tasty breakfast morsels nonetheless. Read on and be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.. Now, our morning words of wisdom.

Logan Morrison ran into Derek Jeter in a Kansas City hotel, and Derek Jeter had no clue who the heck he was. Video after the jump.

Logan Morrison suffered quite the scare at last night’s game against the Washington Nationals. And it wasn’t a ball to the head or broken-bat-turned-projectile that had the Marlins outfielder prancing around in obvious discomfort, but rather a … praying mantis?

Jack McKeon’s been dealing with a lot of old man jokes since he took over the Marlins, many of them revolving around Twitter. He’s handling it remarkably well.