The Olympic Games attract the most elite athletic talent from all around the globe. In this hodgepodge of cultures, lies fantastic foreign names. When Americans see names from other countries, even if they may be normal in their native lands, they will seem fantastic when brought over. It’s science.

With that in mind, here are the most fantastic names of the Olympics, from an immature American’s point of view.

Want to clean up rubbish and do laundry at the London Olympics? Well get ready to pay astronomical prices to live in a 10-person room and share a toilet with 24 co-workers!

LaShawn Merritt — the reigning Olympic gold medalist in the 400 meters — uses ExTenze, okay? He’s embarrassed, but he saw the voice of male enhancement, Jimmy Johnson, tell him on TV that the pills “could provide a little extra energy.” Who doesn’t want “a little extra energy?” Right? Why are you laughing? Cut it out! He’s faster than you!

Paralympians don’t get the attention that the able-bodied athletes do, but they’re incredible athletes too, and their stories are inspiring. Watch a commercial for the Games, and try not to get chills.