Why can’t you be funny like this, ESPN? (Aside from commercials, of course.)

Among the perks of being a championship U.S. sports team: you go to the White House, where you can photobomb where you’ve never photobombed before, and also meet the president and stuff. It’s a day to be honored for all you’ve achieved, a day for you to stand out. Well, depending on what sport you play.

We’re not sure why Chris Paul so egregiously flopped during Clippers-Kings last night. DeMarcus Cousins didn’t do anything, the teams have no bad blood, and there’s no distinct advantage to a foul call (which didn’t come anyway). But what we’re left with is a pained look on Chris Paul’s face, a no-call, and something to rival the Chris Bosh timber flop.

Hockey players lay out to block shots sometimes, because placing your body in front of fast-moving vulcanized rubber is a thing to do in hockey. When Drew Doughty of the Los Angeles Kings wound up for a slap shot in the second period last night, Matt Duchene of the Colorado Avalanche decided to sacrifice his body for the greater good. Too bad the puck hit him in the chin.

Here’s a little bit of internet gossip for you on this lovely Wednesday afternoon: Erin Andrews, former ESPN object of obsession and current FOX football broadcaster, was seen on New Year’s Eve canoodling (worst word ever?) with granite-jawed L.A. Kings centre Jarrett Stoll.

The NHL has been locked out for 2 months and 19 days, which is to say that it’s been way too long since we’ve seen some hockey. For the players, whose has employment has been put on hold, there’s really not much to do. So Dustin Penner of the Los Angeles Kings is interning for Conan on TBS.

Cam Janssen recently said some things he shouldn’t have said. A transcript of his ill-advised interview, after the jump.

While yesterday’s sports headlines were dominated by Euro 2012, Wimbledon, and the NBA Draft, there was some big hockey news that might have slipped by the wayside. Two blockbuster contracts were handed out, with Pittsburgh signing Sidney Crosby to a 12-year/$104 million contract, and the Los Angeles Kings handing Jonathan Quick a 10-year deal worth $58 million. Here’s why those contracts — and other NHL deals like them — boggle our minds.

Jarret Stoll provides the Kings with many intangibles… and now, you can add Paulina Gretzky, the NHL’s most famous daughter, to that list.

Drew Doughty, who just won the Stanley Cup with the Los Angeles Kings, just dodged some very serious accusations.