Phil talks with Jeanie. Jeanie talks with her brother Jimmy. Jimmy tells Jeanie to ask Phil to talk to him. Mitch calls Phil and tells him he’s not invited because they want Mike. Then Mike sucks. Video of Phil’s explanation of the whole thing after the jump.

When you think “MVP” and “Lakers”, you probably think Magic, Wilt, Kobe, Andrew Goudelock…wait, who? He’s the starting 2 guard for the Los Angeles Lakers, thats who. And he played almost the entire game in last night’s 31 point loss to the San Antonio Spurs.

Slowly but surely Kobe Bryant is succumbing to cabin fever and, according to this Instagram post, swamp ass. Mud butt. Stankonia. Watch the madness unfold in his live-tweeting of the Lakers Spurs game after the jump.

It was about time we heard something about Kobe Bryant’s achilles tendon. It had been, like, 8 hours! And this information is corroborated by Dr. Neal ElAttrache, the California super surgeon who believes Kobe can handle this. Put away your Grey’s Anatomy, real medical science ahead.

Bad news, Kobe has ruptured his achilles tendon. What does that mean for the Lakers postseason hopes with 2 games left, or Kobe’s career, or all sorts of NBA benchmarks/records he was supposed to break? Our breakdown as well as video of Kobe breaking down after the jump.

Last night was Shaq’s big night. The Lakers retired his jersey, and bigshots like Phil Jackson were there to mark the occasion. Lakers fans love Phil Jackson… and they were very, very eager for him to know it. Eager enough to make it weird, actually.

OK, so this video does not nearly prove that the NBA is rigged in favor of the Lakers. But it is convincing, and it’s really not that ridiculous of a claim to make. Judge for yourself. Video propaganda, after the jump.

Kobe already has 1,950 pts this season, meaning that if he were to continue on this pace next year, we’ll be talking about MJ moving out of the top 3, which would be huge for the sport. Were he to stick around 4 more years, at the plausible rate of 2,000 points per season, Kobe would be damn near dethroning another Laker legend at the #1 spot. Think thats a long time for him to stick around? We explain why it’s totally gonna happen after the jump.

Enough with the we’re sorry’s already.

During the Golden State Warriors’ victory over the Los Angeles Lakers last night, Dwight Howard and David Lee got into a bit of a tiff. There was an elbow and a Dwight Howard bloody lip and three (!) stitches, and then post-game huffing and vows of mild mannered revenge. Friendship is only a matter of time. But what if, someday, they actually fought?