“I wouldn’t let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper bag sandwich.” Whoa.

It’s mostly Josh McDaniels’ fault. It’s also your fault, those of you who unabashedly support this misfit’s abilities.

Tim Tebow/Mark Sanchez news isn’t fun… unless we’re making fun of Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez. There’s a “story” on these pictures. Help us make fun of Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez.

Mark Sanchez is still the front-runner to land the New York Jets’ starting quarterback job. The two-year contract extension he received before last season has handcuffed the Jets options under center, shoving the same circus trio of Sanchez, McElroy and Tebow (if he’s not traded) out there to fill the position. Oh and don’t forget to add JaMarcus Russell to the mix too.

Now that reports have surfaced indicating that the character “Lennay Kekua” has been used in catfish schemes before, people are coming out of the woodwork claiming to have been Kekua-ed. The latest comes by way of Tessi Tolutau, a Hawaii beauty pageant queen who says that Kekua messaged her on Facebook to discuss modeling.

Rex Ryan, who skipped his league-mandated media session to end the season and is instead at the Atlantis in the Bahamas, was photographed without his shirt by the New York Daily News. Looking rather svelte, by the way. It’s just that tattoo. We need to talk to him about it.

Brian Burke of Advanced NFL Stats has created “The Sports Column Generator.” Explore the never-ending possibilities of this abstract world, where anyone can be the star player, after the jump.

We have, like, actually sort-of-interesting, not-really-scandalous Jets news! Rex Ryan is generally supported by his players! He’ll probably be the only one to stay. Why they’re actually standing up for the big man, after the jump.

There are two weeks left in the season, yet the New York Jets still did enough awful things on the football field in 2012 to fill out an almost four-minute lowlight reel. You can read the tabloids, watch the press conferences and follow the personalities on the Tweeters, but you aren’t going to get a more succinct answer to, “What made the Jets so absolutely miserable in 2012?” than this.

Oh, well this changes everything. You might have read yesterday about a guy who had the attention of the NFL for just about the worst possible reason: i.e. tweeting death threats to Mark Sanchez after the Jets’ Monday night loss to the Titans. But he totally didn’t mean it!