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A Giants Fan Wrote An Open Letter To Eli Manning To Get Martellus Bennett Fantasy Points, And It’s Sort Of Working
Somewhere out there, there is a Giants fan. A Giants fan whose fantasy football team started 1-6, leaving him for dead with naught a care from his league’s other competitors. But his team has risen from the ashes, and all he needs to launch him into the playoffs is a big night from Giants tight end Martellus Bennett. Here is his plea.
This Animated Story, About Martellus Bennett Saving A Falling Fan, Was Clearly Made By Someone On Acid
Also: it’s really, really funny. Bennett, the Giants tight end who also goes by the nickname “Black Unicorn,” has a special place in our hearts because he is a quote machine. But after catching a falling fan last week following the Giants’ win over the Packers, he’s approaching “legendary” status. Bennett told his story to The NOC, who, in turn, animated it in truly trippy fashion. Thank you, internet. [The NOC]
If Giants tight end Martellus Bennett were a superhero, his alter ego would be “The Black Unicorn.” Well, after his team’s 38-10 drubbing of the Packers on Sunday Night Football, Bennett took leave and The Black Unicorn emerged from the shadows. As The Black Unicorn was giving his gloves to a kid on the railing over the tunnel to the locker room, a man leaned over and fell on Bennett, but the hero that he is, stayed to catch the man instead of shying away.
Martellus Bennett is quickly carving out a niche as a lovable football goofball, the Clinton Portis of 2012. And if he can cut down on some of his mental lapses, that goofball persona — combined with increased production — could indeed propel him to near-Gronkian levels of popularity.
Martellus Bennett, tight end of much promise and athleticism, hasn’t done much since he began his career in 2008. But if he keeps being the quote machine he’s been with his new team, the Giants, he might at least be the NFL’s training camp MVP.
Mike Hamlin has become the second Dallas Cowboy in three days to have self-taken naked photos uncovered by MediaTakeout.com. At this rate we’ll have Wade Phillips jacuzzi shots by next Wednesday.
You might have heard of Martellus Bennett, and if you have, there’s a good chance it wasn’t for his on-field exploits as a reserve Cowboys tight end. If you’re just hearing of him now, it’s probably for exploits of a much more…natural variety.