Today marked a very special day on the calendars of baseball fans everywhere: pitchers and catchers (on most teams) reported for spring training. While it doesn’t feel like spring in much of the country, an air of rebirth abounds, for the fans of well-off and lowly teams alike. Unless you’re a Miami Marlins fan. Then it’s doom, gloom, despair and Jeffrey Loria. Must explain the rousing turnout when single-game tickets went on sale Saturday.

You know what professional athletes do? You know, besides play professional sports? They have sex with people. Lots of people.

You know you’ve hit rock bottom in the PR department when a local columnist compares you to a fart.

This right here is a rather unfortunate thank you from the Miami Marlins. You mean this support? For trading away your entire team? Yes? Got it.

You know that both Marlins players and fans are outraged at the trade that sent almost all the Marlins’ good players except Giancarlo Stanton to the Blue Jays. But how do the Marlins plan to follow it up and start moving forward? How’s putting even more players on the trading block sound to you?

When we last visited the Marlins’ official Facebook page, they were asking fans to share their favorite memories of the Marlins’ miserable failure of a 2012 season, and the fans were justifiably responding with venom. So what would they say now that their team has traded nearly every good player away?

The Miami Marlins are reportedly dealing their entire team to the Toronto Blue Jays. Giancarlo Stanton was left out and he is very upset, but find out who was a part of this blockbuster deal, after the jump.

In what was the only fitting end for a disastrous season, the Miami Marlins fired manager Ozzie Guillen today. Blaming manager for all that ails a team is always overly simplistic, but if you saw what happened to the Marlins this year, we think you’d agree that it’s better for everyone that Guillen won’t be back.

Fans love their teams, but it’s often a tough love. They’ll boo when things go wrong. They’ll write angry things on message boards and storm around their houses cursing this player or that coach. They’ll always be back for more anyway, of course, but in their moments of disappointment, they’re likely to get angry. Especially when the team itself asks them to recount their greatest memories of a terrible, just-completed season.

The Miami Marlins have this unique penchant for taking every visual representation of themselves and turning it into some awful amalgamation of clashing neon colors and disfigured shapes. They enter their 20th season in 2013 and they still haven’t bucked the trend. In fact, they’re about to perpetuate the trend with this commemorative uni patch, which, you can see, has way too much going on.