When you’re Michael Phelps, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Twenty-two gold medals this particular weekend bought Phelps a ticket to the Baltimore Ravens’ locker room after their Super Bowl victory. The steamy environment saw Phelps and his old friend, Ray Lewis, share a warm embrace, some congratulatory words and a champion’s kiss.

Michael Phelps has a new sort of girlfriend. She kind of looks like Megan Fox. She has her own sex tape. Celebrity sex news!

Michael Phelps? Vegas nightclubs? Crowd surfing? Inflatable boat? Crash landing? Video? TMZ?!?!?! Yes to all.

In episode #9, we discuss our smoking weed with athletes fantasies, what it would be like to mic up Ty Cobb and the debacle that was ‘N Sync not being invited to Justin Timberlake’s wedding.

Remember when Michael Phelps was caught taking a hit from a bong in that famous picture? Well, according to Channing Crowder, former Miami Dolphins linebacker and current co-host on “The Jorge Sedano Show” on 560 WQAM in Miami, he saw him smoke some weed three weeks prior. Controversy!

Michael Phelps is retired now, so golf is an appropriately natural progression. Phelps is playing at the Dunhill Links Championship in Scotland this weekend, and apparently it’s televised. When he was on the par 4 6th hole, sporting a respectable -2 for the tournament, and he found himself 159 feet away from the pin. So he broke out the putter.

It’s not every week you or I can piss away 25 G’s on a poker game. In fact, it’s not any week you or I can piss away 25 G’s on a poker game. But you’re never gonna guess who can! Nawww, you totally could. It’s Michael Phelps. That dude is rich, retired and loves him some poker.

Welcome to our eighth installment of Top 5 Dead Or Alive. In case you missed our piece last Friday on fictional athletes, we want you to know that this feature is designed specifically to make life hell for our employees. Each week, we’ll ask one of our writers to come up with a definitive list of the five best people, places or things in a particularly subjective category — then, we’ll ask you to tell him who or what is missing from the list. Feel free to be a total dick. After the jump, this week’s category: the five best Olympic athletes of all time.

Michael Phelps, the world’s most accomplished Olympic athlete and well-documented hornodg, is apparently – gulp – in a relationship. The details, after the jump.