Things happened Friday night. Sports things. Catch up on said things with this edition of What Happened Last Night, featuring wins by the Heat, Lakers, and Maryland over the Bucks, Pacers, and Duke.

The NBA came back after it’s brief All-Star hiatus, and the Big Ten featured a crucial conference matchup that came down to the wire. In case you were (foolishly) doing something else, here’s what you missed.

In an effort to dig up some of the more obscure stats after the game, the Nets PR department pulled out the big guns. I don’t know the caliber of researcher they have over there at the Barclays Center, but it’s clear they only recruit the best and brightest.

Monta Ellis thinks that he’s the same as Dwyane Wade. He acknowledges the whole two championships thing, but doesn’t involve the talent and performance things. He also speaks in the third-person. Video, after the jump.

Bucks center Joel Przybilla threw a ball in a ref’s direction on Saturday night. The ball hit the ref in the leg. He got suspended a game for it. The issue: video of the throw makes the ref-hitting part look like a total accident. See it after the jump and let us know what you think.

After stepping in to steal a Marquis Daniels pass, Blake Griffin took a few dribbles up the court before rightly handing the ball off to Chris Paul. Paul, righteous purveyor of basketball justice that he is, gladly let him finish off the play by throwing a lob from the three-point line. And so Blake Griffin does Blake Griffin things.

Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our 2012-13 guide to the upcoming NBA season, in which SportsGrid’s acid-tongued writers identify the reason why your team should probably start looking forward to 2013-2014. Today: the Milwaukee Bucks.

The Bucks-Pacers game was a rough one, and tensions boiled over as Milwaukee’s Larry Sanders ran over Danny Granger… then proceeded to try and fight everyone in Indiana. Granger, David West, and George Hill were all involved, but Sanders (who was running around in circles at one point) seemed like the agitator in this situation. He was ejected, and expect a fine from the league. Also: you’re not fighting anyone, Larry Sanders. Just stop.

That was his plan all along, right? In the second quarter of the Bucks-Grizzlies game, Jennings came up with the steal and zipped down to the other end uncontested. Then his basketball IQ took over, and instead of throwing down a wide open dunk, he decided to clang it off the rim. Check out Jennings’ genius move after the jump.