As Opening Day unfolded this week baseball fans once again prepared for a season of unanswered questions: Who allowed the Arizona D-Backs to have that nickname? Are they really still named the Cleveland Indians and Atlanta Braves? Why does California have five teams? Okay, let’s say I have a few hundred million bones to toss around: what city would I pick and what would I name my baseball team? After the jump, some ideas on how to improve the name of every team in the bigs.

A while back, Comedy Central’s acclaimed sketch show Key & Peele did a sketch about football player names, and how they’re sometimes… a bit unusual. Well, after the jump, we present some terrific names of high school football hotshots, and prove that the duo wasn’t exaggerating too much.

The Olympic Games attract the most elite athletic talent from all around the globe. In this hodgepodge of cultures, lies fantastic foreign names. When Americans see names from other countries, even if they may be normal in their native lands, they will seem fantastic when brought over. It’s science.

With that in mind, here are the most fantastic names of the Olympics, from an immature American’s point of view.

If you recall, we power ranked the names of the horses in the Kentucky Derby, and two of the top three in those rankings placed. We took a break during the Preakness, but we’re back to rank the horses during the Belmont Stakes. Yes, we still included I’ll Have Another.

We’re sure 19-year-old goalie Patrick Fücker is a humble guy just trying to make his way, playing the game he loves. But with a name like that, he was destined to be so much more.

We’re just one week removed from national signing day for high school prospects, and you know what that means: time to start looking forward to next year’s signing day! Today, to help you do just that, Rivals released its initial list of the top 100 players in the high school class of 2013. As we were looking over this list, though, something jumped out at us even more than these players’ talents: their names. 10 doozies after the jump.

The 2011 Name of the Year bracket has blessed us all with its existence. See it. Know it. Love it. Laugh like a crazy person.

There are 120 NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision programs, and each year, all of those schools sign incoming recruiting classes, generally of at least 20 players. There are bound to be some amazing names in that bunch.