Derrick Williams was headed for an epic dunk, but his timing was a little off as you can see in the screengrab above, which is after the dunk attempt.

The pickings are sort of slim in the Southwest, but luckily I was able to find five perfectly acceptable imaginary NBA boyfriends this week.

The Lakers’ Steve Blake is certainly smart enough to realize the math doesn’t work here, and dodges Hamed Haddadi on his way to the hoop.

First, the good news: after being taken to the hospital for tests, Pietrus was released and returned to the team hotel. But based on the spill he took during the Celtics-Sixers game, and the way he was carted off afterwards, you’d think it was going to be much, much worse. Watch the fall — and other scenes from Pietrus’ up and down night — after the jump.

The following rankings are based on players’ quirks — who they’re friends with, what their hobbies are, the silly handshakes they have with their teammates, etc. These factors (and also handsomeness and likability and team record) are key in determining my Imaginary NBA Boyfriend Power Rankings, Southeast Division.

After appearing in one season of “Country Boys Outdoors,” a show that won a 2009 Sportsman Choice Award and definitely sounds like porn, Minnesota Timberwolves center Brad Miller announced that he will retire after this season to do more Country Boy stuff Outdoors.

Call him what you will: Agent Zero, Hibachi, washed up, what have you. But Gilbert Arenas may have a new name, and that is guard for the Memphis Grizzlies. Arenas, amnestied by the Orlando Magic before the season, could make about $300,000 for the rest of the season (in addition to the $62 million he got from his 2008 contract). But is this a costly mistake for the fifth-place Grizz?

Many say that the Knicks gave up too much in the trade for Carmelo Anthony last season, which saw the ‘Bockers gut their roster in return for the isolation-loving scorer. But what if the true travesty was trading just one player: Danilo Gallinari, who is seen here throwing a crazy no-look pass to Kenneth Faried. Check the dish after the jump.

That dunk attempt you see by Andre Iguodala is the end of a really ugly sequence of basketball I might expect in the NCAA Tournament…or your average pre-trade deadline Wizards game. Because of the contact, Iguodala ends up drilling it off the glass and backwards about 10 feet.

A whole lot of booty is going to cost Knicks guard J.R. Smith a whole lot of cash. Smith, who isn’t exactly known as the choir boy of the NBA, tweeted a picture of celeb personality Tahiry a few days ago. But unless you work for Playboy, said photo is certainly NSFW, and that includes in the offices of the NBA.