Why can’t you be funny like this, ESPN? (Aside from commercials, of course.)

Sportsgrid Public Service Announcement: This is a good opportunity to talk about the importance of protective gear. With it, your mobility is slightly limited. Without it, you balls can be chopped off and presumably sold on the black market.

Things aren’t always what they seem. That goes for magic tricks, Melky Cabrera’s resurgence, and now, NHL personnel tossing things from the bench into the beers of their fans. It’s uncanny how much the video seems to show Bruin’s Assistant Coach Geoff Ward throwing something from his ear over the glass and into the stands. Turns out he was framed. Watch it here, after the jump.

Because play doesn’t stop until the offending team touches the puck, the Carolina Hurricanes exchanged goaltender Dan Ellis for an extra attacker, assuming that the Devils couldn’t score without touching the puck. Very reasonable grounds for pulling the goalie, right? Because how can you score without touching the puck? It’s like a riddle. The answer and the video after the jump.

Now that the NHL Lockout is back, Gary Bettman and his cronies are facing a public relations nightmare – because the owners, and only the owners, will shoulder the blame for the lockout. Whether or not that’s justified, we won’t get into that here. But what we do know is that the NHL is dropping down to one knee to apologize, and would really like your forgiveness.

A blogger was just minding his own business in Toronto, when NHL enforcer Ben Eager called him out. The blogger wasn’t having it. Hilarity ensued, and the blogger got slapped and spit on. The story, after the jump.

Confused about the NHL Lockout? Let foul-mouthed Canadians clear things up with some PBR, Heineken, backwash and pee! Foul-mouthed Candians are funny. Clever, too.

NHL 13 is a fantastic video game, mostly because it’s so realistic. However, the “Hercules Check” glitch is not realistic. Watch what happens when a Greek God gains first-rate skating skills. And beware, NHL, Herc is making Zdeno Chara look like Earl Boykins.

I know it’s not the first sport on everyone’s (anyone’s) mind right now, but if you’re a hockey fan, you might want to look away. Your nightmare is slowly creeping towards reality.