A short video, shot by somebody who was clearly way nervous about pointing a camera at the Zen Master, managed to capture his pick. He likes the upset. Check it out after the jump.

Not like Dick Stockton. Not like Dick Van Dyke. Phil Jackson has been acting like a regular, lower-cased dick, such as Dick Cheney (the preeminent name in dickishness) as of late. Evidence, after the jump.

Phil talks with Jeanie. Jeanie talks with her brother Jimmy. Jimmy tells Jeanie to ask Phil to talk to him. Mitch calls Phil and tells him he’s not invited because they want Mike. Then Mike sucks. Video of Phil’s explanation of the whole thing after the jump.

One man should not have this much success. Capitalism is a sham.

But will the Brooklyn Nets go after him?

After a first round exit against the star-less walking infirmary that is the Chicago Bulls, the Brooklyn Nets have gone ahead and fired interim coach P.J. Carlesimo. Fire up the Phil Jackson rumor mill, it’s gonna be a long summer on Atlantic Ave.

Last night was Shaq’s big night. The Lakers retired his jersey, and bigshots like Phil Jackson were there to mark the occasion. Lakers fans love Phil Jackson… and they were very, very eager for him to know it. Eager enough to make it weird, actually.

Do you want to see a video of Phil Jackson tweeting? Of course you want to see a video of Phil Jackson tweeting.

When Mike D’Antoni coaches his first game as the Lakers head coach this evening, Phil Jackson will be far away, not on an NBA sideline, but sitting in a home presumably made of money. Will he be watching the Lakeshow that opted for D’Antoni instead of him? Maybe, if he can find time in between working on his sky hook and working on his sky hook.