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Sorry, Eagles fans, but this doesn’t appear to be a joke. One of your best players was cut for being a gangster — or is it because he made too much money? Or is it because he didn’t work hard enough in practice? — and now he’s headed to a division rival where he will wreak havoc on your secondary for years to come.
“Diamonds on my Neck,” was an under-appreciated hit from 2013. What’s next for DeSean Jackson? Probably something like “Rumors on my Twitter,” which can detail how the Eagles caught wind of his gang connections and promptly fired him.
After careful consideration this offseason, Eagles decide to part ways with DeSean Jackson. The team informed him of his release today.
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) March 28, 2014
It’s been real, DeSean.
If an aggressive race of alien beings ever land on this planet to check out real estate, I hope their first stop is Philadelphia. “Back in the ship, Doris. Suddenly that 740-degree atmosphere on Venus with clouds of sulfuric acid is looking pretty good.”
Bonus video feature: Eagles fans praising Nick Foles and basking in his success while wearing Michael Vick jerseys.
We’ll bet when this guy got up this morning he anticipated he might get covered in snow, but not abuse. Oh, Philly: you never disappoint.
Hope you brought your toques, hosers. Many snow games around the NFL today should make for some fun, if hard to see, highlights. “Snow Miser!!!” (Shakes fist).
Mortified and filled with shame.
Eye of the beholder. Appropriately, while the plane is in flight, only birds can see this.