Oh, God, Ben Revere. You won’t be able to recover from this one. Doug Glanville tossed you a softball, asking you what you were looking forward to getting in Philadelphia. And you said “a cheesecake.” And then you laughed. One of the guys! Just a regular Philadelphian, eating your cheesecake. Because people eat entire cheesecakes.

Being a mascot is a real double-edged sword. On one hand, you can never truly interact with anyone, your identity must remain a secret, and you sweat buckets in there. The flip side? You can grab any ol’ attractive news anchor and “make out” with her on air. I mean, it’s not the real thing, obviously, but it’s better than what you did today at work.

Minor League pitcher Mike Cisco was traded yesterday from the Philadelphia Phillies to the Los Angeles Angeles, and he was traded for no one and nothing. Zero. “No compensation,” officially.

It’s February 26 and in all likelihood, you haven’t mustered up the energy to care about baseball’s spring training yet. That’s OK, I get it. But maybe it’s time to start paying attention, because now we get to see reigning Triple Crown winner and AL MVP Miguel Cabrera do things like this again.

There are two kinds of people who take Adderall: overworked college students and professional athletes. Yes, I’m under the understanding that it’s actually supposed to treat ADHD. I’m also under the understanding that six NFL players have been subject to suspension due to using the substance in the last six weeks, and now it has spread to baseball, where Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz has earned himself a 25-game suspension.

The real Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick. The mascot Teddy Roosevelt is a lot meeker, always losing his footrace against mascots George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln. But after more than 500 losses, another defeat was not to be at Nationals Park.

The Philadelphia Phillies were leading 4-3 in the bottom of the seventh at the time of this photo. The Houston Astros scored three runs in the bottom of the eight to take a 6-4 lead and eventually won by that same score.

Well Philadelphia, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t in 2012. In this case, the on-their-heels Cincinnati defense made sure the damning would happen no matter how Drew Stubbs fielded the ball Eric Kratz looped to center, thinking he was driving in a few ducks from the pond. Read more after the jump about how the Cincinnati defense constructed the inning-ending double play within a double play.