We’re almost done with regular season basketball, did you know? It’s very sad. But then playoff basketball! That’s like, pretty fun.

Having already put together a perfect night from the field (2-2) and collected four fouls in just nine minutes of play, Clippers reserve Ryan Hollins symbolically dropped the microphone and walked offstage by putting Goran Dragic in a headlock and keeping him there while arguing with officials and just about everyone else.

Bill Walton says whatever he wants. There’s even a mildly bothersome, though popular, Twitter account dedicated to his phraseology. He speaks in metaphor and simile and grandiosity. He strings together words that don’t belong together. He’s a patchwork thesaurus – a high-minded Walt Frazier, if you will.

No word as to whether or not Palin took it to the next level by picking up a Michael Beasley jersey at the gift shop on the way out.

Didn’t watch sports last night? We hope your fancy schmancy dinner with “friends” was lovely. Here’s what you missed:

When Blake Griffin decides it’s time to dunk the ball, Blake Griffin dunks the ball. Violently. Defenders caught in the crossfire usually have no choice other than to haphazardly contest and hope for the best. Michael Beasley is not most defenders, and he doesn’t ascribe to such defensive ideals – the gremlins wouldn’t have that. So when Griffin rose for a thunderous dunk against the Phoenix Suns last night, Beasley, who was standing between Griffin and the basket, kindly stepped aside (skip to :17).

Face-musher, erotic art dealer, potty mouth, man of new beginnings: Michael Beasley is a lot of things, and his antics catch no one off guard.

No typos there. It took Sheed all of one minute to get ejected from today’s game between the New York Knicks and the Phoenix Suns.

In theory, the Phoenix Suns could earn exactly $0 on ticket sales for an upcoming home game against the Dallas Mavericks on December 6th. How, might you ask? Because of a newly implemented ticket sales promotion, which boldly guarantees the fun fans will have watching the Phoenix Suns play. And if they don’t, well just mail the ticket in and collect a refund.

Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our 2012-13 guide to the upcoming NBA season, in which we identify the reasons why your favorite team might have to start looking forward to 2013-2014 — and highlight at least one reason for you to be hopeful. Today: the Phoenix Suns, the team Steve Nash used to call home.