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- Germany Celebrated World Cup Win By Whackin' It In Front Of Their Computers ... A Lot
- Chris Bosh Is Reportedly Selling His Ridiculous California Palace
- Georgia's Todd Gurley Gunning For 2,000 Yards This Season
Portland Trail Blazers
It’s been just two games, but if two games were a career, LaMarcus Aldridge would be one of the best ever.
After a great start to the season, we’ve mostly forgotten about the Trail Blazers. They’ve dropped from first to fifth in the standings, which probably means they’re not getting out of the West. Which is too bad, because I just watched this impromptu group media session and now I want them to win the conference, the championship, and a game against the Monstars.
Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our definitive guide to the upcoming NBA season. This team-by-team preview details why it’s probably not your favorite team’s year. Next up, the weird, improved, rain soaked, always fun to watch Portland Trail Blazers.
When Damian Lillard stripped J.R. Smith and took the ball coast-to-coast for a tough layup against the Knicks last night, Twitter lost its collective sh*t. Kevin Harlan exclaimed, “Oh, he pulled a Houdini!” He also traveled.
Didn’t watch sports last night? First, shame on you. Second, fine. We’re right in the heart of basketball season right now – college and professional – so buckle up and keep your hands and feet inside the literary vehicle at all times.
The First Quarter Intermission Entertainment At The Minnesota-Portland Game Last Night Was A Fake Power Outage
Hey look, a power outage joke! It only took the Target Center staff 24 hours to capitalize on the Superdome’s lights gaffe, shrouding its arena in darkness after the first quarter of the Timberwolves-Trail Blazers game. It’s actually kind of funny, though the people at the arena probably didn’t appreciating having to sit in darkness. But when there’s an opportunity to troll, you troll.
There were sports on TV last night. There are sports on TV most nights. Every night, in fact, except that one weird day during the summer over the All-Star Break when there’s no baseball. So, in case you were out being a person, we’ll let you know what happened.