Bill Walton says whatever he wants. There’s even a mildly bothersome, though popular, Twitter account dedicated to his phraseology. He speaks in metaphor and simile and grandiosity. He strings together words that don’t belong together. He’s a patchwork thesaurus – a high-minded Walt Frazier, if you will.

Keith Smart had a good night last night, coaching his Kings to a surprising 105-98 win over the Warriors. But that’s not all he deserves praise for: he also did his part to protect our nation’s most prized asset.

We’re not sure why Chris Paul so egregiously flopped during Clippers-Kings last night. DeMarcus Cousins didn’t do anything, the teams have no bad blood, and there’s no distinct advantage to a foul call (which didn’t come anyway). But what we’re left with is a pained look on Chris Paul’s face, a no-call, and something to rival the Chris Bosh timber flop.

Last night’s Sacramento-Miami double-overtime thriller pretty much shocked anyone who watches basketball. The Kings, who kind of suck, were on the road against a Miami team that was in the midst of an 11-game winning streak. The Heat eventually pulled it out 141-129, but not without LeBron’s masterful 40 points, 16 assists and eight rebounds against a team that just wouldn’t go away. This includes the final seconds and etiquette-smashing Tyreke Evans.

What’s that? You were…out? Not watching sports on television? Wow. Okay. We won’t blame you, this time. Here’s what you missed.

At halftime of the Sacramento Kings’ loss to the Utah Jazz, DeMarcus Cousins was ejected for chirping at referee Scott Foster. Only moments earlier with 2:23 left in the first half, Cousins earned his first technical foul of the night for jabbering on about a missed foul call. At halftime, Cousins approached Foster and tried to reason with him, except Foster wasn’t having any of it. The next thing we knew Cousins had been ejected. So what did he say?

Seattle basketball fans, rejoice: starting next season, you will (reportedly!) have a new NBA team to fill that gaping hole in your heart. Ginormous news, ahoy.

DeMarcus Cousins did not fly with the Sacramento Kings for tonight’s game in Portland against the Trail Blazers. Coach’s decision, according to the Sacramento Bee, and a strange one at that.