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Sex

BaseballBasketballMLBNBA

A Lebron-Like Cramp Can Not Stop Torii Hunter

Torii Hunter Lebron CrampWe’ve heard all of the talking heads that aren’t athletes share their take on Lebron’s Game 1 cramping situation, Jim Rome smartly goes to another professional athlete for his take.


Yikes

The NCAA’s Talking Bench Is Still Trying To Bang You

Ew. Leave us alone, Bench.


NCAA Basketball

‘Cocks Bruise Beavers,’ We Point Out Disgusting Innuendos Because We’re In Middle School

Yes, the Cocks beat the Beavers. Yes, we’re gonna be gross and expand upon this joke.


ComedyOlympic SportsVideo

NSFW: The Onion Takes Us On A Tour Of The Sochi Olympic Village Gangbang Facilities

“Sochi’s Olympic Village: Where top tier athletes from around the world will spend the next two weeks sleeping, eating, fucking each other, training, and cumming.” Sometimes satire is closer to the truth than actual news. You have to see this…


NFLVideo

It’s Looking As If Adrian Peterson Isn’t A Huge Fan Of Condoms

But he is a big fan of strippers. Watch one of his alleged baby mamas spell out just how much unprotected sex this dude might be having.


MLBThey Said What?Video

Mariano Rivera Made A Really Awkward But Hilarious Joke About His Parents Having Sex During His Goodbye Speech

mariano rivera speechIn order to mask the pain we feel knowing that an all-time great will soon leave the big stage forever, let’s focus on one little segment that brought levity to an otherwise heartbreaking (and simultaneously touching, uplifting, fitting) affair.


MLBTabloid Fodder

Sorry, Matt Harvey: New Yorkers Still Want To Bone Derek Jeter More Than You

derek jeter

Derek Jeter still owns New York’s heart, and genitals. Maybe next year, Matt.


Controversy!

In Defense Of Athletes Who Text People Photos Of Their Penises

robert griffin iii

When I hear stories of athletes texting photos of their genitalia to their significant others — or, more often than not, people who are not their significant others — I am glad. Not because this means I’ll get a chance to look at Brett Favre’s penis, or Greg Oden’s penis, or any particular penis. But because I know these athletes are not gods, and are just as prone to making mistakes as the rest of us.


MMA/BoxingSad thingsWeird But True

MMA Fighter Allegedly Suffers What Sounds Like The Worst Injury Ever, Via Penis Gel

Mixed martial artists are used to suffering brutal injuries — battered eye sockets and broken bones come with the territory. But no man is prepared to deal with an injury like the one Michael Waylon Lowe inflicted upon himself when he used the Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel during a September bout of “lovemaking.”


NBAThey Said What?

Young Neophyte Walt Clyde Frazier Was Shrewd, Clever, Slick About When He Had Sex During His Playing Days

Over at GQ you can read a Q&A with Knicks legend and MSG announcer Walt “Clyde” Frazier slated for the upcoming April issue, and it is very Clyde being Clyde. Most notably, Clyde’s judicious distribution of sex throughout the work week in his playing days:


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