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Mariano Rivera Made A Really Awkward But Hilarious Joke About His Parents Having Sex During His Goodbye Speech
In order to mask the pain we feel knowing that an all-time great will soon leave the big stage forever, let’s focus on one little segment that brought levity to an otherwise heartbreaking (and simultaneously touching, uplifting, fitting) affair.
When I hear stories of athletes texting photos of their genitalia to their significant others — or, more often than not, people who are not their significant others — I am glad. Not because this means I’ll get a chance to look at Brett Favre’s penis, or Greg Oden’s penis, or any particular penis. But because I know these athletes are not gods, and are just as prone to making mistakes as the rest of us.
Mixed martial artists are used to suffering brutal injuries — battered eye sockets and broken bones come with the territory. But no man is prepared to deal with an injury like the one Michael Waylon Lowe inflicted upon himself when he used the Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel during a September bout of “lovemaking.”
Young Neophyte Walt Clyde Frazier Was Shrewd, Clever, Slick About When He Had Sex During His Playing Days
Over at GQ you can read a Q&A with Knicks legend and MSG announcer Walt “Clyde” Frazier slated for the upcoming April issue, and it is very Clyde being Clyde. Most notably, Clyde’s judicious distribution of sex throughout the work week in his playing days:
Sexual-act-for-sporting-achievement is a tradition rooted in history. Larissa Riquelme promised to run naked if Paraguay won the World Cup (they didn’t). Two pornstars promised to blow their Twitter followers if the Miami won the NBA title (they did, and they did). Next up is the Association of Nigerian Prostitutes.
ESPN came out with their top 10 posts of 2012 (traffic-wise) today and in a shocking turn of events, ESPN.com users enjoy sex at the Olympics, the deaths of Jovan Belcher and Junior Seau, Tim Tebow – mostly separately – and…Rick Reilly?
Tottenham Hotspur defeated Aston Villa 4-0 today, and as usual, ESPN Soccernet had coverage. Not “as usual,” though, sex jokes were made describing the match. Out-of-touch, strange sex references. They were soon deleted, but check them out after the jump.