Kepping the ball in front of you is a little harder with 9mm bullet in your skull.

Jozy Altidore might not be a household name yet, but he’s making a strong case to get there. Altidore, striker on the U.S. Men’s National soccer team, has been playing out of his mind during the World Cup qualifiers. He put the icing on the cake yesterday, scoring for the fourth consecutive game to tie a national team record.

Enzo Jiminez is an abhorrent human being. He threw a defenseless, harmless dog into a fence because it interrupted his soccer game.

Germany and Ecuador just finished up an international friendly, with the superior German squad cruising to a 4-2 victory. But the real winner of the match was a streaker who very calmly paraded his nuts around the pitch, while giving daps to both German and Ecuadorian players. It was truly a great moment in international relations.

Robin van Persie hosted a U9 and a U10 youth soccer tournament. From the looks of this video, the sole purpose of the tournament was to break the spirit of every child that entered.

The photogenic runner dude plus the animal that doesn’t care equals Rennes goalie BenoĂ®t Costil.

Nothing like following up a beautiful chip shot with putting your shorts on your head. [Reddit]

When your team loses, it sucks. When your team is on a five game losing streak, it really sucks. When your team is close to being relegated to an inferior league because it loses so much, that’s just terrible. But there have to be more constructive ways to vent your frustration than throwing your dentures onto the field, for the camera to pick up in all its slimy, toothy glory.

(Love Your Journey from Wallop Creative on Vimeo).

Andrew Henderson has one ordinary name and one extraordinary skill. He is the World Freestyle Football Champion, which means filmmakers will follow him around London while he does mesmerizing things. Go on, you. Be mesmerized. (Note: This only works in soccer. Let Ray Lewis loose with a football in Baltimore, and people die.) h/t reddit

The short answer: A combination of bad luck and incredible defense by the guys in red, white and blue. Video after the jump.