Had something keeping you away from watching sports? Well, if you did, shame on you, because watching sports is the most important thing in the world. Because we care, though, we’re still going to keep you up to date on what you missed, so you’re not hurt too badly by your gross negligence. After the jump, what to take away from last night in sports. You’re very welcome.

There was only one sport going last night: baseball. Two Game 5′s in the MLB Playoffs were played Friday night. Let’s take a look at who is moving on and who was sent packing.

By now, you’ve probably read all about the controversy from last night St. Louis Cardinals-Atlanta Braves game involving questionable use of the infield fly rule. Come to find out, we should have been prepared for this sort of incident all along.

The ball you see at left was well into left field. The infield fly rule was called. The Braves played the rest of the game under protest because how do you make that call there? What the hell is going on? We try to figure it out after the jump.

The replacement referees may be gone, but for those of you dying for your fix of terrible officiating, look no further than the regular MLB umpires.

Eric Stonestreet is best known for his portrayal as lovable uncle Cam on two-time Emmy winning Modern Family. In real life, Stonestreet is substantially less lovable, especially when he starts picking fights at his beloved Dodgers game with a Cardinals fan.

The Saint Louis Cardinals squeaked out a 2-1 victory over the Los Angeles Dodgers last night, extending their NL Wild Card lead over L.A. to two games. Jose Canseco attended the game, our favorite nonsensical athlete Twitter-er , donning a rather contrite t-shirt.

It’s no mystery so many of their peers are, and were, happy to see Chipper Jones and Bobby Cox retire. You know, because they terrorized their teams for so long. So it begs the question: which Brave made life more of a living hell for opposing clubs? Let’s examine – by way of the retirement gifts each received from opponents – after the jump.

Catchers have thick skin — it comes with the territory of playing the gruffest position in baseball. But they also have thick equipment, and that comes with the territory of occasionally having to absorb a hit at home plate in the name of saving face (and a run) for your team. Yadier Molina did that Tuesday night, straining his upper back, shoulder, and neck in the process.

It’s a tough divide to bridge, the one between Cubs and White Sox fans. They’ve shared the same city for over a century. North Side vs. South Side. You need something they can really bond over. Last night, Conan tried to provide it. Did the show succeed?