There were sports on TV last night. There are sports on TV most nights. Every night, in fact, except that one weird day during the summer over the All-Star Break when there’s no baseball. So, in case you were out being a person, we’ll let you know what happened.

The Lakers are a half game closer to the cellar of the Western Conference than they are to the playoffs. Their losing streaks since the beginning of the season include three in a row, nine of 11, 10 of 13, 14 of 22 and 16 of 25. They lost fairly big to the Grizzlies Wednesday night, 106-93. They are 17-25 and not heading in the right direction. Not much is going right for the Lakers, to the point where coach Mike D’Antoni felt compelled to hold an airing of the grievances before the game against Memphis. Clearly it didn’t amount to much.

Naturally, the Lakers lost to the Rockets tonight, 125-112. They’re getting awfully good at doing that, but that’s not why we’re here. In the midst of the loss (which dropped the Lakers 15-19), Steve Nash recorded his 10,000th career assist.

The Lakers actually beat the Warriors — an undoubtedly good team — on the road, in overtime, last night. It was Steve Nash’s first game back from injury and just his third as a Laker, but he still managed 41 minutes and this encouraging alley-oop to Kobe Bryant. These old men have hope, and at least on this play, they have the appearance of youth. They’re still a combined 115 years old, but you wouldn’t know it here.

When Steve Nash signed with the Los Angeles Lakers, nixing the New York Knicks and Toronto Raptors in the process, rumors were swirling about Pau Gasol’s future and Dwight Howard’s pending departure from Orlando. Steve Nash, however, only had one demand. Keep Pau Gasol.

Sorry for the sensational headline. Yes, Nash has a fracture in his leg, but it’s not quite that serious.

Hurricane Sandy still keeping you away from the nightly sports action? Did some Halloween boozin’ take precedence over the NBA? If so, we’ve got you covered. Just don’t let this become a habit. A lack of basketball is bad for you, it’s science.

Last night we caught Kobe Bryant walking into the Staples Center with a, er, man purse. Fine, fine, European carry-all, or whatever. The NBA’s twitter account, however, caught another Laker stylin’ his way into the arena: Steve Nash.

Hurricane Sandy knock out your power? Have another lame excuse for missing the start of the NBA season? We’ve been previewing the NBA season with our Pretty Much Screwed series, so you should know by now that your team is probably screwed and maybe not worth watching anyway. In case you’re still optimistic but missed the first night of future misery, we can let you know what happened.

Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our 2012-13 guide to the upcoming NBA season, in which we identify the reasons why your favorite team might have to start looking forward to 2013-2014 — and highlight at least one reason for you to be hopeful. Today: the Los Angeles Lakers, who are title – like, now – or bust.