Jurickson Profar is now ready to help Fantasy teams with his call-up to Texas. But just how effective will he be, and for how long? Scott Engel and Adam Ronis have the answers.

Human interest story and recent free agent acquisition Josh Hamilton returned to Arlington Friday to face the team who took a chance on him when he was down on his luck. He went 0-4, was booed mercilessly, and, oh ya, his wife had to call the cops because fans were shouting profanities at her in front of her kids. Big surprise there.

Didn’t watch sports on TV last night? Well you missed one impressive feat and one impressive almost-feat.

I don’t know from getting tattoos, but apparently the process hurts like a bitch. As for Elvis Andrus, his new ink spans from his left shoulder to his elbow. Getting it must have hurt like the dickens (“the dickens” is slightly above “a bitch” on the pain scale). It caused him such discomfort that his manager Ron Washington was forced to scratch him from the lineup in today’s bout with the Indians.

Apparently there’s still some sort of debate over whether or not Josh Hamilton is going to get booed or cheered when his Angels visit the Ballpark in Arlington to take on the Rangers on April 5. Well, it’s time to end that debate, because Josh hates baseball fans in Texas.

After a fantastic start to the season, Josh Hamilton slumped badly. That slump continued late into the season, and may have contributed to the Rangers blowing the division title. Team President Nolan Ryan has a theory as to why Hamilton struggled, but picked a really bad time to open his mouth. Details, after the jump.

Remember the last day of baseball’s regular season last year? That was crazy, right? Spectacular collapses, spectacular comebacks, walkoff wins, playoff spots clinched, baseball fans everywhere losing their minds that everything was happening at once? Well, this year’s regular season finale probably won’t be as crazy, but there’s still plenty to keep an eye on as we approach the playoffs. What to look for, after the jump.

Oh hey there crazy lady with a mohawk, go right ahead and wish your mom a happy birthday while cursing on live television. No word on the type of trouble, however. [With Leather]

Rangers starting pitchers Derek Holland and Ryan Dempster, however, moonlight pretty well as SNL-cast-member wannabees. Here’s a Fan Cave exclusive of Holland and Dempster doing their best Will Ferrel Harry Caray — color commenting on themselves. Watch it after the jump.