Tiger Woods: bad person. Tiger Woods: not a bad person. The debate rages on.

It’s especially sad that nobody was surprised.

Sergio accuses Tiger of distracting him. Tiger accuses Sergio of being a pussy. Neither of them are in the lead at The Players Championship. Look on the brightside, fellas! At least he didn’t pull his wiener out like the guy behind homeplate at the Astros game.. Details after the jump.

We can’t pretend to have measured Tiger Woods’ blood alcohol content levels, but judging on photographs alone, he looked to be somewhere between “hammered” and “train wreck.”

Pat Mayo of RotoExperts previews The Players Championship, all while explaining McDonald’s, The Great Gatsby and the world.

“You always have to keep an eye on those cheaters ;).” Just how you keep an eye on your ex-wife’s new relationships over the internet, Thomas Vonn. At least he didn’t make a joke about Tiger’s “balls” like the New York Post did with this classic headline. Thomas Vonn’s funny/awkward tweet and The Post’s brilliant/awkward back page after the jump.

GREEN ALERT! After ricocheting off the pin and ending up the water, Tiger admittedly took a penalty shot two feet further from where he was initially shooting from, and Augusta did nothing. But Tiger Woods doesn’t care that he “technically” broke the rules and is now expected to disqualify himself, just like you don’t throw yourself out of nice restaurants for wearing jean shorts. Though other PGA Tour pros are pissed, because as the old adage goes, haters hate. Angry tweets and the official ruling after the jump.

The 2013 Masters has started, but Tiger Woods wasn’t officially “back” until he dropped an f-bomb. “How the fuck did it do that?” That’s what she the 121 of them said, or something. This is also a friendly reminder that while the Masters are great, we should try not to take stuffy Augusta National so seriously. And, Tiger, that word has gotten you in trouble before. Maybe switch to s-bombs, from now on. [Outside the Box Score]