You there. Yes, you.

Come hither. Put down that “fantasy football” mobile device you have there in your hand, you slack-jawed yokel, and come forth to listen. Approach, I say, and wipe the spittle from your chin. A ball control quarterback wants to tell you you’re dumb on TV.

Oh man, this is great, actually. I mean, I love Louis C.K. and all, but when everything you hear about masturbation is coming from one source, it’s a little much, you know? ESPN NFL analyst Trent Dilfer’s “Stroke Principles” should be a welcome change. So let’s hear ‘em, Trent.

When the Monday Night Football season kicks off this year, Chris Berman will be in the booth to call the action. Naturally, this announcement has caused some to absolutely lose it. Reactions, after the jump.

The Green Bay Packers got a key victory over the Minnesota Vikings last night, aided by Brett Favre’s three interceptions. But the big postgame story was Favre’s coach’s reaction to those turnovers – and ESPN’s reaction to his reaction.

If you were somehow able to make it through the Monday night snoozefest that was Jaguars/Titans, you were rewarded with a surprisingly informative and compelling debate about the NFL’s new rules regarding “devastating hits.”