No, this is not an Onion or Weekly World News article.

Wave those Union Jacks and pop open the Strongbow! Andy Murray has won his first Grand Slam! (And Britain’s first over 75 years!) Read more about The Great Scot, after the jump.

Remember in 2009 at the U.S. Open, when Roger Federer hit a between-the-legs backwards winner against Novak Djokovic? Actor-comedian Kevin James did, apparently, so he tried to do one for himself. It went a little differently.

It was a fitting end for Andy Roddick’s tennis career – he performed valiantly, ultimately couldn’t overcome a better player, and got to talk about some goofy stuff after the fact. That ending, that goofy thing, and other assorted thoughts after the jump.

Ryan Lochte is a world-class swimmer, Serena Williams one of the best tennis players ever. But neither is a prerequisite for being a slick crooner or a fleet-footed dancer. In fact, I would imagine Ryan Lochte especially is terrible at both. Still, that won’t stop them from planning a night out on the town in NYC. Read more after the jump.

If you’re like me, you’re a close follower of major tennis tournaments, but don’t pay that much attention to doubles. Allow the clip after the jump – featuring the doubles team you probably have heard of, the Bryan Brothers – to try and change your thinking.

7th seeded Juan Martin Del Potro faced off against fellow Argentinian Leonardo Mayer in the third round of the U.S. Open today, coming away with a a 6-3, 7-5, 7-6 three-set sweep to advance to the fourth round. The third and final set was a heated affair, with Del Potro finally coming ahead at 11-9. But not before a bit of physics stupefied CBS announcer Ian Eagle and nearly saved the match for Mayer.

Remember the potentially mentally ill man self-named “Jungle Bird” who interrupted Webb Simpson’s U.S. Open win and interview with Bob Costas by walking to frame and squawking like a deranged chicken? Are you serious, bro? Bro, you gotta see it, it’s hilarious.

Well, it appears Jungle Bird is at it again. This time, his target was the Notre Dame-Navy game.

Once upon a time, Andy Roddick was the golden boy of American tennis. He was going to carry the torch Sampras and Agassi left behind, the one they themselves got from Connors and McEnroe. And it looked promising at first when Roddick won the 2003 U.S. Open. But along came Federer. And Nadal. And Djokovic. And Murray. And basically the rest of the world, who lapped Roddick and ensured his Open victory would be his first and last major championship. Today, Andy turned the big Three-O, and announced his departure from tennis.

You remember the Cardinals’ Rally Squirrel from the playoffs last year, right? You know, the one that interrupted that playoff game, then became a symbol of the Cardinals’ improbable run to a championship and got put on baseball cards and cakes and even the Cardinals’ World Series’ rings? Well, we’ve either found the tennis version or that squirrel really gets around. [Deadspin]