In case seeing the tabloid phone-hacking scandal play itself out isn’t enough incentive to be wary of some of England’s shadier publications, the British Olympic Association is taking matters into its own hands.

Yesterday, footballer Ryan Giggs finally got officially outed in England as the man who allegedly carried on an affair with model Imogen Thomas. Then, a tabloid-friendly story took a most tabloid-friendly turn.

We know just what a big deal footballers are in England, we know that Wayne Rooney is a huge star, and we know intense scrutiny placed on Rooney is nothing new. Still…this is just creepy.

A British judge has granted an injunction against a tabloid from revealing the name and details of an English Premier League soccer player who cheated with a glamor model, Imogen Thomas.

Call it the picture of the rear (hiyo!). UK’s Sun caught took this photo of Manchester United star Rio Ferdinand being grabbed by Manchester City’s Carlos Tevez.

The Sun. Yes, the British tabloid that has supplied us with countless hours of cheekily entertaining soccer headlines has now provided us with this “Old Spice” parody.

What would the middle of the week be without sordid accusations involving prostitutes and British footballers?

The clip provides just about everything you’d hope for: videogame cut scene-level production value, bored prostitutes, and Rooney kicking soccer balls next to an abandoned barn as he laments the collapse of his marriage (huh).

A match-fixing scandal has rocked the Pakistani cricket team, and a number of players could be banned for life. The allegations were first made by British tabloid News of the World, and now everyone’s in a tizzy.

Yes, “best anything” of all time is usually too much of a blanket statement. But if anyone knows of a cooler way to take a penalty, let me know.