Oh, wow, thanks Mom and Dad. Mutant League Hockey! Just what I, um, wanted. All my favorite players playing my, err, favorite sport. You know, like the Wolfman. Or the Mummy. Or Not Mark Messier. Thanks.
We’ve all been there. Either bury it under the tangled mess of old controllers or secretly become really good at it — just don’t let your friends see that you now own a game featuring a shiney Bill Laimbeer-cyborg on the cover. It’ll ruin what little street cred you have left.
Here’s an updated list of the most quintessentially stupid sports video games from your disappointing (though retrospectively hilarious) childhood. Enjoy!