Brazilian Prostitutes Will Take English Classes In Anticipation Of The 2014 World Cup

  • Dylan Murphy

The 2014 World Cup will be hosted in Brazil, with countries throughout the world congregating for one of globe’s most popular tournaments. With events like these, the language barrier can often lead to unforeseen difficulties for visiting fans. Luckily the (legal!) prostitutes of Belo Horizonte, Brazil, who mostly speak Portuguese, are flocking to free English classes starting in March set up by their overhead company, the Association of Prostitution.

Thus far only 20 prostitutes have signed up for the 6-8 month classes, but another 300 are expected to enroll once the program gets underway in March.

Because you see, it’s not simply about rattling off the word “sex” and a coherent string of numbers in English – any traveler can easily deduce the meaning of the Portuguese word “sexo.” In customer service, detailed communication is key.

“‘English will be very important to communicate with clients during the Cup,’ [Cida] Vieira, [President of the regional Association of Prostitution] said. ‘They’ll have to learn how to work out financial deals and also use a specialized vocabulary with sensual words and fetishes.'”

You want to put your foot where? No, no foot stuff. No, stop. GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF THERE. Sex. Let’s just have sex. Yes, you and me. We have sex, I pay cash. OK? Yes, sex. Sexo. OK. Sex.


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