Bryce Harper had a nice, relaxing Thursday. He took his dog to the dog park. He took his dog to the creek. He took a picture. And then he tweeted it. That’s when the world found out that Bryce Harper’s dog is named Swag.
This really isn’t all that surprising if you know anything about Bryce Harper. It’s unfortunate for the dog that he’s going to have to go through his entire life with a name like Swag, but he isn’t alone. There are other athlete-owned dogs out there with shitty names.
For example, Tim Tebow’s dog had to deal with a mid-life name change after the “quarterback” was traded from Denver to the Jets. The dog was named Bronco as Tebow apparently didn’t have the foresight to realize that most NFL players don’t spend their entire career on one team and that most dogs outlive the average NFL career length. When he got to New York, he renamed his dog Bronx, even though the Jets actually play in New Jersey.
And then there’s Dallas Mavericks guard O.J. Mayo who named his dog Bum. It’s sad enough that the dog has to live with such a terrible name, but the sadness is just layered on when you think about how fitting it is. O.J. Mayo looked like a star his rookie year, and it’s all been downhill since then. He put up solid numbers on the Mavs this past season, but some might call him a bum after he failed to live up to the hype of being the third overall pick in the NBA Draft.
Lastly, there’s Manny Pacquiao, nicknamed PacMan, which is also the name of his dog. Wouldn’t that be kind of confusing? I imagine his friends chilling at his house, saying his name, and suddenly getting jumped on by a dog. Was PacDog taken?
But in the end, none of these top Bryce Harper’s absurd dog name.