Duke has done something mildly entertaining and not really at all hatable. I am shocked, but the cleverly named “Trackstreet Boys” of the Duke men’s track and field team made an I Want It That Way music video, and I grinned and chuckled a few times. It made me nostalgic, as it did for many Duke students. I was at first excited to find this so that I could hate on Duke, but then I enjoyed it. I feel like I went to the bathroom and forgot to wipe. The only time I’ve ever been more upset is the time I heard a Pitbull song on the radio and left it on for a full two minutes. I was tired and unfocused, but still. Everything > Duke > Poverty > Pitbull. That’s ethics.
I have been far too nice, though, so here are mean things I have to say about Dook. One: you guys can’t sing. Two: you guys are unranked and therefore better at making music videos than running and jumping and throwing. And, most importantly: the entire world hates you and your school. Please excuse me, I have to shower and donate blood, because I am clearly a horrible person for enjoying this.