Jaguars Game Now Coolest Place To Do Anything But Watch The Jaguars

  • Joe Polito

If you’re going to watch a football team that’s gone 11-37 in its last three seasons, you might as well do so while playing Marco Polo with your work buddies. That’s what the Jaguars envisioned when they demolished 9,500 seats in their north endzone at EverBank Field to install resort-style cabana seating, complete with swimming pools, umbrellas and all-you-can-eat dining.

As ridiculous as this all sounds, ESPN reports that the team has already sold almost two thirds of the cabana seating for the upcoming season. Those will run you a hot $12,500 each, or $250 per person.

This kind of aquatic novelty has already been implemented in baseball with Miami’s Marlins Park and Arizona’s Chase Field, but the Jags aren’t stopping there. They also plan to erect the largest HD LED video screen in the world and air NFL Red Zone on additional screens throughout the stadium.

So I’m chilling in the pool, working on my tan, sipping on a rum runner, keeping track of my Fantasy team, but there’s all this crappy live football distracting me from my fan experience. That’s why in 2015 the Jaguars will build a gigantic crane that lifts up the stadium when the team is down by 24 against the Colts, separating the seating from the field and plopping it onto a cruise ship to sail us away from this sub-par footballing. Now that’s the future.

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