The Star-Ledger refers to it as the “funniest one-sided friendship in golf history,” but I prefer to think of it as “future evidence in the murder of Tiger Woods.”
Andres Gonzales, who is currently playing in his first major at the US Open, began a strange Twitter courtship of the world’s most famous golfer in February, when he tweeted, “@TigerWoods My name is Andres Gonzales and I am a rookie on tour. I like elephants.”
For the next four months, Gonzales has “told Woods that his favorite color is green. He has invited him out bowling. He has even asked him which golfer he should use in Woods’ own video game.” Then he tweeted this:
Anybody have a pill that will give me six pack abs while sitting in my hotel room doing nothing? @TigerWoods how you look like that?!?
Oh, also: does anybody know how to sew together a suit made from human skin? Maybe made from a guy that’s like, 6-1, 185? Thanks!