If the U.S. men’s soccer team had qualified for the World Cup and Mexico didn’t, we have no doubt that it would have somehow screwed with the equator and thrown off the rotation of the Earth, causing us to hurtle directly into the sun. So we’re glad that things worked out.
It happened late tonight, as the U.S. staged a late comeback to beat host Panama, 3-2, in their final CONCACAF World Cup qualifier. The U.S. had already qualified, and benched many of its starters, with a pair of stoppage time goals by Graham Zusi and Aron Johannsson winning it. Panama, which has never been in the World Cup, is now out.
Meanwhile, Mexico lost to Costa Rica, 2-1, and would have been ousted had the U.S. not beaten Panama to save their hinders. Now, Mexico will play New Zealand in a home-and-home series in November for a spot in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. Mexico has not failed to qualify for the World Cup since 1990.
Now Mexico won’t have to hide its face each time it sees the U.S. across the border. In addition, our southern neighbor may have just saved a lot of money. According to Business Insider, Mexico would lose around $600 million in TV, merchandise and sponsorship revenue by missing the trip to Brazil.
— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) October 16, 2013
A Mexican scored for the U.S to give Mexico another chance #illuminati
— Franky Nuño (@Frankyy_N) October 16, 2013
— Sandlapper Spike (@SandlapperSpike) October 16, 2013
The U.S. won a thrilling soccer game against Panama to keep Mexico's World Cup hopes alive. Obama's America.
— Jim Hamilton (@Jim_Hamilton) October 16, 2013