The Champions League culminated today with Bayern Munich beating Borussia Dortmund in the first ever all-German final, 2-1, on a sneaky Arjen Robben goal in the 89th minute. All and all a very gritty, physical game with a lot of chances on both sides. Very entertaining from start to finish, despite being more German than a 30 liter beer stein filled with finely tuned chocolate Hans Grüber quotes.
Now for the top 5 whackiest of whacky antics!
5) STOMP: The Bruisical
Robert Lewandowski stands up for himself after losing the ball late in the match. Not sure if this was meant to hurt Jerome Boateng, but it certainly wasn’t very nice. Next time, just say something offensive.
But wait, there’s more.
Defensive midfielder, Dante Bonfim Costa Santos, put a cleat in the junk of German superstar in the making, Marco Reus, as he tracked a ball into the box. That’s definitely going to leave a deutschmark on his Merkel. Luckily, Dante was “penilized”, which resulted in a converted “penilty” kick, tying the game at 1-1.
Wait to stop laughing before you check out this next one, because it’s a real schide schplitter…
3) Welcome to turf!
Will Smith blew a penalty kick at a pre-game promotion for his new movie, After Earth. Like, totally blew it. To be honest, it probably would have been better had he missed it completely, rather than meekly nudging the ball with a full fledged kick. Cue a very short sample of the Benny Hill music…
2) Saving Face
In the 29th minute, Dortmund goalkeeper Roman Weidenfeller denied man-of-the-day Arjen Robben by using his Hugh Grant mask (aka his face). Excellent work, Roman. Now please give me back my haircut from 8th grade.
1) Obligatory WWII joke
What would a whacky German soccer match be without some sort of bizarre coincidental Hitler reference? At some point in the first half, the planets aligned to make a Ford “Go Further” ad look like it says “Go Fuhrer” (sans -ü). It really went well with the anti-racism ads lining the field. Woo hoo!
H/T 101 Great Goals