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MASH-UPS: While The Dutch May Dominate Speed Skating, 12-Year-Old You Will Always Dominate Mario Kart
Dutch speed skating coach Jillert Anema half-jokingly attacked American sports culture for diverting too many resources into “American football,” adding that we suck at things like speed skating because we “make [our] own game, like American football, do it [our] own way and think [we're] the best of the world.” For this reason, Anema supposed that we’d never win another speed skating medal ever again — we’re too busy playing our own made up sports.
This statement is true to the extent that we are too busy to become world-class speed skaters, but it’s not because we’re playing American football. It’s because we’re playing video games, because they’re exciting, unlike speed skating, which appears to be the NASCAR of chasing butts.
Maybe if it were actually fun, like, say, Mario Kart 64 (or in this instance, Mario Kart 8), we’d be more develop athletes capable of breaking The Netherland’s icy grip on the sport. More of this, internet. Please.
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