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Behold, The Griddies: Our Awards Show For the Best In Sports Cinema

Uninspiring year for movies? Can’t bring yourself to watch the Academy Awards? Haven’t paid your cable bill? Then feast on the SportsGrid Sports Movie Awards, or Griddies, below. Held annually in an abandoned warehouse at Pier 49 in San Francisco, this glittering gala features the best of the best in sports cinema going back to, oh, say, the 1970s.

Please note that all awards are off the top of the author’s head: no actual research has been done, and some stuff may have been left out. Like, oh crap, “Raging Bull.” Just thought of that one. Oh well.

And for the inevitable complaints about the exclusion of “Field of Dreams” from all categories: sorry. Not a fan. And Shoeless Joe Jackson wasn’t right-handed. And didn’t look like Ray Liotta.

On to the red carpet!



1. The Natural
2. Slap Shot
3. The Longest Yard (1974)
4. Hoosiers
5. Rocky

And the winner is …


1. Caddyshack
2. Bad News Bears (1976)
3. The Sandlot
4. Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby
5. BASEketball

And the winner is …


1. Basketball Game, “Meatballs”
2. Frank Drebin, Umpire, “Naked Gun”
3. Football Game, “M*A*S*H”
4. Jefferson Crushes Lincoln High For Totaling His Car, “Fast Times At Ridgemont High”
5. Gotham Stadium Destruction, “Dark Knight Rises”

And the winner is …


1. Paul Newman, “Slapshot”
2. Bill Murray, “Caddyshack”
3. Robert Redford, “The Natural”
4. Chris Barnes (Tanner Boyle), “Bad News Bears”
5. Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

And the winner is …


1. Sandra Bullock, “The Blind Side”
2. Jennifer Warren, “Slap Shot”
3. Glen Close, “The Natural”
4. Susan Sarandon, “Bull Durham”
5. Yasmine Bleeth, “BASEketball”

And the winner is …


1. “This club is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish.” — Rodney Dangerfield, “Caddyshack”
2. “I like to think of the Baby Jesus as a mischievous badger.” — John C. Reilly, “Talladega Nights: The legend Of Ricky Bobby”
3. “Oh, kill the gophers. We can do that. We don’t even need a reason.” — Bill Murray, “Caddyshack”
4. “Obviously you’re not a golfer” — John Goodman, “The Big Lebowski”
5. “There’s no crying in baseball!” — Tom Hanks, “A League of Their Own”

And the winner is …

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