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Little LeagueVideo

Five Reasons The Little League World Series Sucks

As is traditional in America since 1953, it’s time to glorify 12-year-olds to ridiculous extremes while making an enormous ton of cash for a large entertainment corporation. It’s the Little League World Series, brought to you by Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, Xfinity Comcast, etc. ® © (all rights reserved).

This year’s LLWS will end just prior to Labor Day, meaning that at least four Little League teams will have been in mathematical contention longer than the majority of the National League East. Here are five other reasons the LLWS sucks:


Overzealous adults

If your kid hit this home run, I can kind of see you jumping into the bushes to get the ball. Maybe. Almost certainly, however, this man’s kid did not. Yes, a grown man dove into shrubbery for a baseball hit by a preteen. And it’s the second time it’s happened this week.


Flat brims

The first minute upon receiving your team hat should be spent creasing the top and rolling the brim, preferably so that the ends almost touch your temples. When I played, a cap such as this at left would have gotten you tied to a tree in the woods every day for the entire summer. Flat brims are a disturbing trend, and must be stamped out if baseball is to survive. One should not be able to eat breakfast off the bill of one’s baseball cap.


ESPN feeds on children’s tears

The old newspaper adage “If it bleeds, it leads” is slightly different for ESPN in August: “If the kids don’t wail, viewers bail.” Capturing overwrought emotion can make for compelling television … if it’s Terrell Owens or an Olympic winner on the podium. If it’s a 12-year-old who just struck out in front of a national audience, that’s child abuse. The thing you hear all the time during the LLWS, that a kid “will forget about his mistake an hour later, and be playing in the pool with his friends” is complete bullshit. Tell that to this kid when he’s 34, at the grocery store with his own kids and someone blurts out “Aren’t you the kid that lost that Little League game on TV?”


Umpires who think that they’re the show

Perhaps your day job is not fulfilling. Perhaps you don’t get any respect at home. Maybe you feel forgotten and alone on a barren, forsaken planet. But that’s no reason to put on a blue uniform and make a mockery of a game for children. No one wants to see your cheap theatrics, blue. The best umpires are the ones you never notice are there.


Giants dressed as kids are allowed to play

We’re all for kids being able to play baseball with their friends, but shouldn’t there be limits? The two above actually played in the LLWS (the kid on the right this year), and were allowed to pitch and have access to aluminum bats. Both are 6-foot-3 or above, and weigh more than 200 pounds, while some of their opponents are no taller than Oompa Loompas. Sure, they can carry all the bats, and they provide shade. But having these guys play a game on 60-foot bases is just comical. And having them throwing fastballs at you from 46 feet is terrifying.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t watch. I have never liked the whole idea of broadcasting these games nationally.

  • Anonymous

    No joke, I randomly flipped on a stream the other day to check out this comcast feature and LLWS was on.

    I watched this kid throw two pitches then start crying on the mound.

  • Austin

    I agree completely with the crying and size thing. I remember when I was in little league I was no bigger than 5’2″ and when I see these kids that are 6′+ I can’t imagine having a 6’4″ kid throwing a fastball at me from 46′ it’s just insane. And the crying thing is just not right cause you know his friends at home and girls r watching and there showing him. Clearly if he’s crying the event had to be big enough to be crying so already humiliated then they just add on by doing a close up on him crying


    WEAK! PLZ! Forget about all the sportsmanship shown. Forget about the great comebacks and nailbiters. Forget about all the fun and memories any kid would love to have here at LLWS. Forget about Instant replay to get the call RIGHT. Nooooo. Let us watch the REAL cry babies the Majors. Fights, bench clearing Brawls, contract whiners, UNSPORTSMANSHIP. Ridiculous. I for one LOVE the LLWS. It IS what Baseball and sports should be about.

  • Willard

    I’m enjoying the LLWS to a degree, but can’t stand watching big kids playing on a field designed for 9-10 year olds. Not being able to lead off base and the other silly rules just isn’t real baseball. Most kids in summer baseball leagues don’t play in the LLA. They play in leagues that graduate the base paths as they get older and follow the same rules as MLB. The LLA needs to mature!

  • John

    Skyler, you NAILED IT!! LLWS is sports at it’s purest. I’m a teacher of elementary school kids for 39 years and I watch this event every year. I use it in many ways in class. The kids who make it even to the regionals are excellent teams. They are committed, understand how to focus in the moment to achieve a goal, understand their role on their team, and when you lose you learn life lessons as much as when you win. All of these skills are important in developing kids for the future they are growing into. I tell my students that these kids are not much older than them. That if these kids can achieve excellence, they can to, and an important to direct your efforts towards excellence is in school. If this were not broadcast on tv, kids would not have the chance to watch and learn about strategy, athleticism, courage in the face of elimination from the tournament, etc. Of course, they need an adult to converse with them during and after the game to extract some of these lessons. That’s why they have parents. Sadly, when I asked my class of third graders who was watching the LLWS, only two raised their hands. What events like this help me to do as a teacher, is to analyze the life lessons in these games and find ways to pass them on to my students.

  • Jeffrey Willis

    And the umpire behind the plate choked on something when the cal pitcher threw a srike down the middle and he called it a ball..the next pitch hit the batter..to bad it did not hit the blue in rhe gonads

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