What would it take for you, male readers, to staple your scrotum? Me, personally, it would have to be: to save my (future) wife/child’s life, to gain the ability to fly, or to play the part of the guy who killed Hitler in “Inglourious Basterds.” Or if I was drunk and wanted a free burrito.
This bro/person/questionable excuse for life made a bet with a fellow bro on a FIFA 13 game, requiring the loser to “staple his testicles.” (The original article, in the British tabloid Metro, says “testicles,” but it’s pretty clear that’s a scrotum and not a ball. I’ve been researching and verifying this all day, and as Managing Editor Eric Goldschein confirmed to me via gchat, “yeah that’s a pretty flat piece of… ball skin.” Agreed, Eric. Or maybe “testicles” are just British scrotums?)
So, if you’d like to watch some kid staple his scrotum, watch this video. If you wouldn’t, then why did you click on a post titled, “This Kid Stapled His Scrotum Because He Lost In FIFA (NSFW, Video Contains Real, Live, Stapled Scrotum)?” That’s what I thought. Click:
Honestly didn’t sound as painful as I thought. If Kobe Bryant were a real man, he’d staple his balls to the Staples Center while he recovers from his injury.
(And if you enjoyed that, you’ll likely enjoy reading about a man who stapled his testicles to the ground in Moscow’s Red Square. Be sure to keep your eyes glued to SportsGrid while we keep you posted on testicle-staplers around the world, sponsored by Staples.)