- Iowa State Fans Mock Marcus Smart With Coordinated Mass Flopping Routine (Genius)
- Johnny Weir And Tara Lapinski Commentate 30 Rock's Lunchtime Free Skate
- How Does Lionel Messi's On-Field Vomit Attack Stack Up Against The 7 Grossest Puke Vids In Sports History?
- Everybody Is Hating On The NBA's Sleeved Jerseys
- Florida Basketball 'Chasing Greatness' In The Season's Stretch Run
Ladies And Gentlemen, The Dumbest Shit In The World: The ‘Empty Force’ Effect
When the only explanation is “you have to open your heart,” you know something’s up. That, and the fact that YOU CANNOT SUBDUE SOMEONE WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM. Unless it’s your assistant, and you’re paying him to fall down, and you’re a pathological liar. Or if it’s windy out, I guess. Cut to the 2:40 mark to see someone not fall down from not being touched. (Officially the dumbest sentence ever utter on this website, which is saying something.)
The “Empty Force” effect is martial arts equivalent of the Ouija board. It only works if you pretend like it works. Pretty simple.
But wait, if you thought the funniest part of this tragically phony bullshit parade was watching someone try it out on a non-believer, you’d be wrong. Because the world’s preeminent “Empty Force” master is named “Paul Dong.” Either that’s the worst porn name in the world or another part of the hoax.
Let me repeat that. The master of the no-touch takedown is named “Paul Dong.”
[Wikipedia] People who believe in the empty force claim “Ling Kong Jing, the ‘Empty Force,’ is the highest martial arts skill in China. This extraordinary technique harnesses the power of qi, the body’s vital energy, enabling masters of the art to defend themselves against opponents without making physical contact.” Its authenticity and effectiveness are quite controversial, even its very origin is proven very difficult to prove by its current leading master, Paul Dong.
We wish this story was as fake as EFO. It’s not. Our apologies, world. (If you want to see actual MMA, make sure you check out our affiliate, The Fight Network.)
- Cavaliers' Andrew Bynum Suspended For Scandalous Affair?!
- Rare Photos of The Undertaker as a Teenager
- 15 Hottest Daughters of Professional Athletes
- Which Golfer Has This Sick California Mansion?